Lately, it seems there are so many stressed out mothers. Mothers who are completely burnt out with their homes, children, marriages, finances, etc. Let me be honest, recently I, myself started feeling overwhelmed. I’m now 9 months pregnant and still don’t have everything in place as I want for the new baby. I’ve spent weeks with my husband reorganizing, but it seems like the more we did, the worse it became.
As I write this, my house looks a wreck. Laundry has piled up again after I washed and washed and washed. Toys got dumped for the umpteenth time after I made bins for different ones. The kitchen has become the control center where we just throw stuff on the counter including my husband’s tools, mail, toys, keys, and did I say my husband’s tools? Can you tell it’s urking my nerve? Ha!
So, how do we actually become a stress-free mom when it seems never ending? How do we cope with the reality of life when it just seems that we wake up to do the same thing over and over?
Here are 5 ways to be a stress-free mom:
I can’t stress (no pun intended) enough how important it is to have Jesus in your life in this season. Every season we need God, but I have found especially this season of motherhood, I need Him so much more. To pray and have His Word in our lives is our fuel. It is what will keep us going when we feel like we can’t keep going. When I feel overwhelmed, I try always to remember to take a moment and just talk to Him. I might not be able always to get on my knees to ask Him for help, but while I’m doing the dishes, fixing kid’s plates, and doing the laundry, I just talk. I tell him how I’m feeling and how stressed out I feel. I ask Him for wisdom and guidance for different situations. It helps so much to release the pressure and lay the burden on Him. He’s so willing to take the burdens off of our shoulders and exchange it for joy, peace, and happiness. Try Him; He is amazing!!!!
2. TAKE A SHOWER OR BATH
When I start feeling overwhelmed, and my husband is home, I jump in the shower. That is like my get away moment where I just zone out. I let the water just run and enjoy the steam while I’m thinking of absolutely nothing. I just focus on breathing and enjoying the moment. My husband already knows when I’m stressed and enter the bathroom, that’s my moment. He makes sure to keep the kids away because if it were up to them, they would knock the door down. Hehe! My tub isn’t big enough for me to enjoy it, plus all I would hear is the knocking on the door and the kids yelling “mommy!” If you have a garden tub or something, take a nice hot bath and light some candles. Maybe after the kids go to sleep, you can sneak into the bathroom and have that time to just release the stress. After a shower or bath, the freshness alone is a mood changer!
3. TAKE A NAP DURING NAP/QUIET TIME
Having little ones, nap time is a must in our house. My 3-year-old is in a phase where she will take a nap some days and some days no nap. If she doesn’t fall asleep, I still make her get in the bed and have quiet time. While they sleep, I try my best to take a nap too. It is hard when you know there are things to do around the house and nap time is the perfect time to complete tasks, but sometimes you have to stop. I’ve been burnt out at times because I go go go and don’t stop. By the end of the day, I want to pull my hair out because I haven’t taken a break.
Break? Oh my gosh, did I say break? YES! MOM’S CAN TAKE BREAKS!
Just because we are home and have to run the house doesn’t mean we can’t take an hour or two for ourselves. It doesn’t mean we have to leave the house to get a break all the time. Nap time is a beautiful break. You’re giving your body a chance to just rest and relax. When I take a nap, I wake up reenergized and ready to start the next half of the day. Sometimes it means I stay up a little later after the kids go to bed so I can complete a task, and I do it happily because I had a nap.
4. HAVE YOUR OWN PERSONAL SNACK TIME
People laugh when I tell them that I stay up late to have my own snack time. It sounds funny, but oh my gosh, it is the best time. I’m all giddy now writing about it. So, when the kids go to bed, I either finish housework or that is the time that I and my husband take time for each other. It’s hard to always talk when we have so much going on with the kids, so we take that time to catch up or do a date night at home.
After housework or husband time, it is on for my snack time. I love cereal, especially Frosted Flakes, so I make me a nice medium bowl, get in the bed, sit back against the pillow, and eat my cereal while catching up on e-mail or social media. When I tell you, it feels like heaven…..Jesus! If it isn’t cereal, it is chocolate milk, cookies and milk, candy and soda, etc. Pregnancy has made me crave a lot of chocolate, so I leave chocolate time for my snack time. Just the feeling of being able to eat or drink something I love and don’t have to share is life! Dont’ get me wrong, I love to share things with my kids, but not all of the time. My snack time is my own time and just a half hour to an hour is enough to relieve stress. I go to bed so happy and satisfied!
5. GET OUT OF THE HOUSE
This one can be tricky and hard. I know what some of you may think….how can I get out of the house with little ones and all this work I have to do? I never get to leave anywhere unless I have one kid with me. I don’t have the money to go anywhere. My husband won’t stay with the kids. My husband works late. I know there’s more, and I completely understand. There’s been so many times that I’m like, Lord, I just need 10 minutes to myself out of the house, but it wasn’t possible. That’s when I started communicating with my husband more about having some “me time” away. It doesn’t mean every week I’m out on the street….I don’t desire that anyways. It just means, I need some time just to be away from the “norm.” He understands very well I need to be outdoors at times to just recharge. It isn’t wrong, so please, don’t feel condemned for trying to leave the house hands free.
Some things I do when I get out alone is:
- Grocery shop
- Window or thrift shop
- Get nails done or go for a massage (depending on budget)
- Go to our ladies fellowship (once every couple months)
- Drive around
See, it isn’t expensive just to take some time out of the house. Grocery shopping for me is time out of the house and a stress reliever. It might not be for me personally, but it is still time alone and out. Even just driving around has helped me in times that I was so overwhelmed. If your husband is not where he can stay with the kids, schedule ahead of time and see if a friend or family member can have the kids for an hour. Schedule a play date and stay outdoors at a park where the kids can be free and you can enjoy the sun.
It is easy as mom’s to get burnt out and get overwhelmed. We have so much responsibility and so much on our plates. We not only have the house to take care of, but the husbands, the kids, and for some, even the dog. We just have to remember to take care of ourselves as well. If we fall apart, our whole world will unravel. Our spouses and kids look to us to keep it all together, so we have to make sure we are as stress-free as possible.
If you see that no matter what you try, you are just overwhelmed, seek some help. Talk to a trustworthy person like a pastor, aged-woman, friend, etc. It isn’t shameful to share what you’re feeling, and it helps to release those feelings. Don’t suppress your stress because it can easily lead to depression.
I pray that this post has helped in some way and encouraged you to be a stress-free mom. Just writing it has helped me with the thought of tackling my house again and getting it together.
Feel free to comment below on ways you handle stress as a mom or on how this post has helped. I would love to learn even more.